Why am I doing this....?
Whats up? I’m Ned. Um, yeah I’m not sure why I deciding to write one of these fuckin things. i never go on-line and i hate this whole myspace thing. Just a bunch of trendy bullshit. Like how guys wear the girls pants and shit like that. Anyway, I’m sure your wondering why i would be writing a thing on something i hate. Let me tell you. Its not by choice. I was looking for a fucking pen but i couldn’t find one that would work. I had to at least write something out because either I’m going crazy or at least some crazy shit is about to happen.
Ok let me start or re-start by telling you or who ever reads this thing a little about myself. My name is Ned Jackson. I’m 22 years old and i work for my neighbors construction / renovation business. anyway enough of that crap.
I think I’m going crazy. I don’t know. I’ll be at work and i think I’ll hear someone calling my name or asking me a question and usually no one is even around or they don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about. So, i started just ignoring it and now when people do actually try and talk to me they think I’m high or going def or something because i don’t respond. Then when i get home i talk to myself all the time. I live alone so i have no reason to be talking to anyone but throughout the day i catch myself talking to myself. like i have conversations with people i may talk to the next day. like if i have a meeting with my boss or if I’m gonna hang out with a friend I’ll preview the things I’m going to say. I guess the silver lining would have to be that I’m not seeing imaginary people.
So the part where i think I’m going crazy. Ive been having a lot of dreams where I’m laying in a bed and i’m so out of it and the bed is so comfortable that i don’t get up or i cant get up. then I’ll start to doze off in my dream then end up waking up in real life. ok then like 2 weeks ago i had this dream where i was standing in a room and all kinds of people are standing around me talking to me at the same time. i try to tell em to just shut the fuck up but its like i lost my voice or something. and i can’t move once again. those last a long time. Its odd because all the people are sad or pissed off. they’re all crying at me or yelling. sometime they whisper. like one of the people was this girl I’m totally in love with and she tends to whisper to me all the time.
Usually when i have these dreams I’ll wake up with this huge pain in my back. like a sharp stabbing pain just below my shoulder blade kinda in the middle. anyway it sucks. so its like every night i get these same dreams.
I started noticing the noises I’m hearing at work or throughout the day. like they seems like the voices i hear in my dream. like i know fer sher i totally heard that girl whispering to me like my name and something else. then it was like i heard a buddy of mine crying when i was in the store last week. I’m in the freezer section and i swear i though he was in the next isle crying like he was making fun of me for some reason. i peeked around the corner and it was just some old lady looking at paper plates. she wasn’t crying and if she was it wouldn’t have been the same crying i was hearing. anyway so i called my buddy on my cell. he was at his house arguing with his wife.
Anyway for the past week or so I’ve been noticing this shit and its starting to freak me out. I tried telling a friend of mine about it but she just thinks I’m stressed out or trying to be funny. Yeah , HA HA.
ok so more and more it’s like things are beginning to get clearer. I one of the voices was telling me that “they” said. who ever then hell “they” are. anyway, they said they figured out how to fix everything and i should be back by the end of the week. that was like 6 days ago. all week my dreams the people who are all talking to me seem totally happy and shit. and yesterday at work i heard someone say “hurry Up” but no one was there.
Maybe I’m psychic or something and I’m an alien. or maybe I’m just going totally scitso’. that’s why i had to write this shit down because if the fuckin mother ship or something comes to get me then maybe someone can let all my friends know or they can read this and maybe know what happened. If i do end up in the loony bin at least this will be an entertaining thing to read right.
Ok so just now i thought my phone was ringing. i looked over at it and it didn’t look like it was. It didn’t sound right anyway. it sounded like just a steady beeping like a garbage truck backing up, or like a heart monitor or something. I’m fuckin going crazy. i cant believe this shit. and all day my damn hands have been twitching and then cramping up when ever i put them in a fist. Like i was holding on to something and couldn’t let go.
Ok well i think I’m done here. my first and last blog. hopefully i will wake up tomorrow. still on earth, or still sane. the whole phone thing kinda makes me think something else. like this shit is all a dream and my dreams are the reality. like maybe I’m not really there in reality for some reason and when i dream i have something like a reality. and maybe this word is going to end or something. maybe when i go to sleep tonight I’m really waking up.
Fuck it maybe I’m just going bonkers and i need to check myself in. HA HA. either way I’m tired as shit.
Nighty night world.
Ned
